FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Bowling Green, Ohio, April 1 2015 – The Thayer Family Dealerships are excited to announce their support of potential Bowling Green Street Code 98.54, also known as “Keep Left”. 

There’s a new Street Code being quietly discussed at Bowling Green City Hall. We feel it is time to shed some light on it, because this simple Street Code will truly set us apart from all other communities in Northwest Ohio. 

Heck, it will set us apart from all other communities in the United States of America. It’s a pretty big deal.

And frankly, we are shocked that everything about Street Code 98.54 is happening in hush-hush closed door meetings. Our General Manager, Robert London, has become privy to information regarding Street Code 98.54. In full support, he has requested that we let the community know what is happening, so you can get on-board, and help us push this initiative through City Hall and onto voter ballots this November.

An excerpt of potential Bowling Green Street Code 98.54 reads:

The custom of driving on the left side of the road dates back to pre-history. It was an early safety measure. Knights carried their swords on this side, and could protect themselves and their Kings. When you rode your horse on the left side of the roadway, you were seen as a cautious and safe traveler. 

Bowling Green Street Code 98.54 proposes to adapt the earliest and safest traveling practices. It is the initiative of the people of the City of Bowling to change our local traffic laws to reflect driving on the left side of roadways. This initiative shall be called “Keep Left”.

The term ‘street’ shall mean any roadway being a public highway, and the roadway of any bridge forming part of or leading to the same. Bowling Green Street Code 98.54 shall only apply to any street within the city limits. City limits are defined in Zoning Document A-14 below.

Robert London has spoke to several insiders at the city about how they would get everyone to drive on the left side of the road when they enter city limits. The answer is simple. Roundabouts.

While we were unable to obtain official City of Bowling Green Keep Left Roundabout designs, we have an official confidential inside source who shared this unofficial photo with us.

We know you are wondering why we would support such a drastic change in driving patterns. The answer is simple. Commerce.

Our General Manager, Mr. Robert London, explains it best in his official statement:

It would be silly not to support such an initiative. Bowling Green, as a community, could really use the money we will bring in from tourism. Think about it. If there was a city in the United States, where they traveled on the left side of the road, wouldn’t you want to take a road trip there to try it out for yourself? Not many of us will ever drive in Britain, but it sure would be fun to say we did.

Plus? The more money we bring in as a community, the more potential cars we will sell to the great people Bowling Green, Ohio. It’s a win-win. This is why the employees of the Thayer Family Dealerships will show full support of Keep Left this November.

This, folks, is why he is in charge. The man is a genius.

We hope you will like and share this article as a show of support for Keep Left.

Oh, and we’re still waiting on those Aston Martins that we promised you last April 1st.